My Frustration With Fat-Shamers
Lately, I have noticed a trend and frankly, it makes me sick. Some people seem to think it’s okay to fat shame others because of their size. I’m not sure what gives anyone the impression that this is okay, but it’s happening every time I turn my head and I am so sick of it. Like, it makes me so mad I can feel the Brooklyn girl in me trying to bust loose and fight.
I’ve heard people crack jokes about others. I’ve heard the comments. I’ve even heard people complain about how offended they are when fat girls wear cute outfits and take pictures to post as if being fat is cute. WTH! Are they for real? Do these people really think it’s okay to make someone feel like they need to crawl into a cave and hide because of how much they weigh?
I just can’t! I really just CAN NOT!
I was an overweight child. I actually didn’t lose much of that weight until I was 21. And when I lost it, I saw what some people were really about. Folks who never looked at me twice were suddenly paying attention–like I changed on the inside or something. Like losing weight finally made me worthy of their attention. That made me so angry. It also made me sad to see that people could be so shallow.
Now, about 18 years after losing that weight, I’ve gained some of it back. Having three kids and keeping up with a busy lifestyle can do that. But I learned a long time ago that my weight doesn’t define me. It’s simply a part of who I am. And if someone reading this is fixing their mouth to tell me that having children is no excuse, you can kick rocks. The last time I checked, I pushed those kids out of my body on my own. I earned every stretch mark I have from doing so. The last thing I want or need is someone's opinion about what I should look like now that I’m done.
And let’s be clear about something. I care about my health and the health of others. I always have. I eat well, I workout, and I want to live a long life. I care so much that I became a certified health coach. Yes, I actually help people live healthier lifestyles without ever shaming a single person. I can teach people about managing blood pressure, self-care, the benefits of losing weight, and anything else they want to know about creating a healthier lifestyle, and I can do it with love and compassion. I can help people without ever making them feel less than a human being. I don't understand why everyone else can't do the same.
You see, I am smart enough to know that shaming has never compelled anyone to make lasting changes. Shaming actually makes people feel like sh*t. It’s cruel. So cruel that I gotta wonder what the went wrong in someone's life to make them think they can treat other people that way. Who shamed them? What’s their pain? Because you see, no one just wakes up and decides to be mean for no reason. That mess is stemming from something. I know it is.
But despite any unresolved issues that people may have, and my compassion for them, I won’t give them a pass. I won’t excuse them for their antics. They know better. They have to know better. And if they don’t, let this post be their reason to get a freakin’ clue.
Fat. Skinny. Tall. Short. White. Brown. We all need to be treated with love and respect. We all have the right to roam this earth in the skin we’re in without ever feeling like we have to justify our current condition to anyone. Especially not to an insensitive moron who gets a kick out of making people feel bad.
The next time someone decides to form and express an opinion about your body, I want you to tell them to take several seats because your weight is no one's business but your own. And until they realize that and work on themselves, all they are doing is adding more pain to the world with each judgment they pass.
I don’t know about you, but this world I’m living in doesn’t need any added pain. We should all try loving folks instead.